Good for a giggle

[Auburn Annie]

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


LOOSE CHANGE: STANLEY CUP -
THE INTERVIEW
by Charlie Teljeur

EMAIL FEEDBACK PRINT

The following is purely fictional and meant for entertainment purposes only. By entertainment, we mean we hope you laugh while reading this, while framing this, or while burning this. Any similarities between this and actual events is strictly coincidental and frankly, dumb luck. Remember to remind your lawyer about the made-up part, OK?

The big guy’s been around since he was a little guy, one hundred and thirteen years to be exact, and he’s holding up well.

Loose Change recently had the chance to sit down with the most famous trophy in professional sports (aside from Fred The Super Bowl Statue) .

Loose Change: So it’s that time of year again.

Stanley Cup: Yeah, you can tell the taxman to kiss my…

LC: I meant that it’s your time to shine.

SC: Right. The spotlight’s nice, but I could without the sandblasting preparation. It chafes my undercarriage.

LC: What was Lord Stanley like?

SC: Aside from being a world-class statesman, he was one hell of a ping-pong player.

LC: Do you remember that very first year?

SC: Oh yes. It was quite an exciting time. I was fresh out of college, trying to impress the boss. Back then I made only seventeen pennies a week.

LC: A silver mug paid in copper? That almost sounds scandalous.

SC: My wife often complained about me coming home smelling like copper. She thought I had some Missy on the side.

LC: Montreal AAA was the first champion. What were they like?

SC: You have to remember I was fresh off the boat from England and couldn’t speak a word of French. Luckily, we all shared a common language.

LC: Hockey.

SC: Gin.

LC: Over the years you seem to have a grand history of being in water: The St. Lawrence River, Rideau Canal, Patrick Roy’s pool. How was that?

SC: Ending up on the bottom of the St. Lawrence was the only unplanned one of the bunch. I grew to love the water so much I ended up getting a Class 3 Scuba license. It’s made the trips to Barbados so much more enjoyable.

LC: You’ve also ended up at the odd strip joint as well.

SC: What happens with the Cup, stays with Cup, although I must say the Beach Boys really highly underrated Midwest farmers’ daughters.

LC: You’ve also seen a lot of countries in your travels.

SC: Yes, the diversity of the National Hockey League has allowed me to see a huge variety of nations. I got the chance to go to Canada last year. Beautiful country.

LC: What is one thing nobody knows about you, the Stanley Cup?

SC: I’m quite proficient at yoga.

LC: And what’s one misconception people have about you?

SC: That I don’t cry. If I get another small child in a Maple Leafs’ sweater begging me to come back to Toronto I might have to commit suicide (Editor’s Note: A trophy taking his own life is called “Metallurgicide”)

LC: You have quite the life living on a pedestal at The Hockey Hall of Fame. Any exciting stories from there?

SC: I think I’ve been poked by more fingers than The Pillsbury Dough Boy.

LC: Who’s your best friend?

SC: People naturally think The Stanley Cup would hang with other trophies but, to be honest, I think most of them are jerks. “I’m the freaking Hart Trophy. Bow in my presence.” I mean, come on.

LC: So obviously you don’t chum around with other trophies we can assume..

SC: Most of my free time is spent with other hockey people although I must admit I consider Gordon Lightfoot one of my “homies”.

LC: Is there a significant other in your life?

SC: I used to be pretty serious about somebody about a year ago but we agreed it would be best to see other furniture.

LC: Lastly, any predictions on where you might end up this year?

SC: I try not to think too much about it and end up disappointed. As long as a team fully exemplifies what it takes to become a Stanley Cup champion, I’m adaptable.

LC: And they have lots of gin.

SC: You go girl.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Thursday, only on thehockeynews.com.

[charlene]

LC: And what’s one misconception people have about you?

SC: That I don’t cry. If I get another small child in a Maple Leafs’ sweater begging me to come back to Toronto I might have to commit suicide (Editor’s Note: A trophy taking his own life is called “Metallurgicide”)


LC: So obviously you don’t chum around with other trophies we can assume..

SC: Most of my free time is spent with other hockey people although I must admit I consider Gordon Lightfoot one of my “homies”.

Having memories of the LAST time Toronto won the cup in 1967, it is only right that all generations after me should suffer every spring as I and Lightfoot have.....
the kiddies I care for are Leaf fans even at age 2 and 3....perhaps in THEIR lifetime they will see another Stanley Cup parade in Toronto. Otherwise a visit to Front St. to the Hockey Hall of Fame is the only place they'll see it....
p.s.-the Leafs didn't even make the playoffs this year,.... ;(
sheeesh...
this is a great little book about the journeys of The Stanley Cup: Why Is The Stanley Cup in Mario Lemieux's Swimming Pool??
http://www.amazon.ca/exec/obidos/ASI...635170-2116833

[johnfowles]

Originally posted by charlene:
Having memories of the LAST time Toronto won the cup in 1967,

I had quite forgotten that Tronno trounced the team from the home of ice hockey in Expo year
(always assuming I ever knew it that is)

Talking of ice Hockey
I can clearly recall the horror that greated me back in the fall/autumn of 1969 when I had to admit to close friends that, about to return to the UK after nearly 6 years in La Belle Province,I had never been to a Montreal Canadiens ice hockey match. They immediately clubbed together and presented me with a pair of tickets for an upcoming game at:-

The Montreal Forum then the Canadien's home
I have never ever been much of a sports fan, but had quite enjoyed an occasional game of ice hockey on colour television.
However I thoroughtly enjoyed the spectacle colours and excitement at my one live game
For a long time I have racked my Brian to try to remember the name of the biggest Montreal Canadien's player while I was there and having now found and perused the team lists from my era such as that at:-
http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/l...000451965.html
the only name that is even vaguely familiar is Jean Beliveau so it may well be him:-

John Fowles
Unless anybody up here knows different that is!!

[ April 18, 2006, 18:22: Message edited by: johnfowles ]

[Sheryl]

Stationmaster has *moving* pictures...

[charlene]

it probably was Jean..he's a big man. and a great hockey player. when i met him a dozen years ago he was still incredibly classy and handsome....twinkling blue eyes and gorgeous French accent....a lovely man.

[DJ in MJ]

Originally posted by Sir John:
ice hockey match.

Ok Sir John, the coach has called an early morning practise for two unforgivable sins from last night's game.

1. Up in the beautiful country of Canadia, it is HOCKEY only. "Ice" is redundantly redundant and something you put in a drink to make it cold.

2. This is not (round) football, although the ridiculous diving may make it seem that way. It is, however, a "game", rather than a "match".

You're lucky I'm a player's coach and not a hardball, Johnny, or I'd put you through two solid hours of (ice) skating drills for those lapses. :D :D

[charlene]

David - LOLOL!!!

I nearly spit coffee all over the monitor!

too funny!
lol

[Jesse Joe]

I always was a Montreal Canadiens fan, except when Wayne Gretzky, came into play. I remember switching to the Edmonton Oilers, for the time that Gretzky was there. Since that tragic trade, I went back to the Canadiens. If it wasn't for the Montreal Canadiens, I would definetly be a Toronto Maple Leaf Fan. That great city, and of course the team Gordon Lightfoot so dearly loves. I understand he was the honarary Celebrity Captain at one time. Sir john are you a Montreal fan? I remember very well in 1967, the Canadiens wanted to win the Stanley Cup, for EXPO 67. But Toronto won it, but has not won it since... :D :D :D

[ May 19, 2006, 09:29: Message edited by: Jessi -Joe ]

[Jesse Joe]

Great picture of #4 Jean Belliveau. Going to school at that time, I remember being in grade 3 or 4 {Jean Belliveau} was my favorite player...

This brings back so many good memories, of days gone by.

[johnfowles]

Originally posted by johnfowles:
quote:Originally posted by Jessi -Joe:
except when Wayne Gretky, came into play.

Oh yes I know the name...
"ATHABASCA LADY
Has been performed live. "She's my Athabasca Lady from the town of Edmonton;
though Gretzky is her hero, I am still her Number One."
from an unreleased 1995 ditty see:-
http://www.lightfoot.ca/unresngs.htm

Sir john are you a Montreal fan?

well to be honest I hardly think a solitary attendance at just one of their games in 6 years qualifies me as a fan of the Canadiens.
But if you meant Montreal the city
Of course


View south from Mount Royal



general view showing the island site of Expo67

and especially skiing to the North of Montreal
There is a short Slope on the North side of Mount royal.. we could see it from our last apartment's balcony
example of a resort a few hours drive North:-

John Fowles [/QUOTE]

[johnfowles]

I might be wrong but I suspect that the ski resort above is Mont St Sauveurin the Laurentians, which was the first in the area to install high intensity lighting. a car-load of my fellow workers at
Rolls-Royce Canada would drive there on an off-peak weekday evening for a couple of hours continuous "night skiing" without the usual weekend lengthy lift queues.And if so it was there that one memorable evening I first realised that I had reached the holy grail of skiing and was really skiing "parallel"

[Jesse Joe]

Two great photos, of the city. I never saw Montreal for the beautiful city that it really is. From your photos. Good work...