interview today in Globe and Mail

[brink]

Autumn-Would you feel better if we all said we thought that Gord was such a jerk he ran her off? I base my opinion on the fact that Gord brought it up, we would have never known any different if he hadn't said anything. I don't think that Liz is a Saint and neither is Gord, it takes two; but, I like Watchman, have seen people not have the empathy for their spouses when a serious illness or injury has happened and decide it's time to go. Maybe he was impossible to live with, maybe she was too, maybe she expected a faster recovery none of us know for sure.
Annie, I know it is hard for the children, but I don't think we do any "bashing". I agree with you and hope he has some one to unload to, we all need friends to help us through the rough times.

[Rob1956]

Hey, everyone, just calm down!
I personally, would never assign either Gord or Liz more than 50% of the blame for their current marital discord. However, I've had enough women in my life tell me that men are babies when they get sick, so Gord may be more than 50% at fault. I've come to realize that many creative people can be real "brats" when things don't go just so, and Gord has had his whole life and whatever "life schedule" he envisioned turned topsy-turvy that he may have become difficult to live with. Things will eventually work out the way they should..whether it's the way we fans would have it or not. We are all like a big family here, and families occasionally have spats, and I think that's what's happening now. Everyone just calm down, have a cup of hot choclate and think about moosetracks in the snow...you think Gord does that on a cold January night?

[Auburn Annie]

quote:Originally posted by Rob1956:
Hey, everyone, just calm down!..<snip>
Everyone just calm down, have a cup of hot chocolate and think about moosetracks in the snow...you think Gord does that on a cold January night?

I second that emotion. If we're upset about this (well, duh!) imagine how much more so their friends and family are. Whatever's meant to be, will be. Let's keep our heads on straight and our hearts open.

Moosetracks??? Bwahahahahaha (sorry, that just struck me funny - it's been a long weekend.)

[BILLW]

Autumn leaves falling,

I don't know what the expression is in your country but how dare you drop by and lecture anyone here? The expression where I live is "GO POUND SAND UP YOUR A**" This is a discussion forum not a worship site. Take a hike.

Bill

I'm not ashamed of anything.

[Sundown17]

quote:Originally posted by BILLW:
Autumn leaves falling,

This is a discussion forum not a worship site.

Bill

Along the lines of "This is a discussion forum not a worship site". I would like to point out that I find it interesting that the first assumptions were that the separation was Liz's doing and she "bailed" on Gord for one gold digger reason or another considering each of their personal histories. Gord, by his own admission, has had 6 children with 4 women, Liz has had 2 children with 1 man. Hmmm...no disrespect intended, but food for thought.

Also, I think that the reason he chose to reveal the separation to the reporter was because even though Toronto is a big city, "The Circle is Small". He knew it wouldn't take long before it would be evident to the masses...he just took the initiative for us to "hear it from him".

The reporter even mentions noticing the furnishing style of the house by calling it "casually decorated". The lack of a woman's touch and children's things probably made him wonder "Is There Anyone Home?" and Gord realized that there were "Too Many Clues In This Room" and 'fessed up.

Having said that, from personal experience, I will add that it is possible to still be a support to your spouse while "living under separate domicile". I refuse to get caught up in the reporter's view that he is a sad broken lonely man. From what we've read and seen over the years, Gord steers his own ship.

It's not been an easy year. I agree with The Watchman , maybe they are just taking a breather.

Thanks Char for making sure we all saw this revealing and riveting article.



[This message has been edited by Sundown17 (edited October 13, 2003).]

"Along the lines of "This is a discussion forum not a worship site". I would like to point out that I find it interesting that the first assumptions were that the separation was Liz's doing and she "bailed" on Gord for one gold digger reason or another considering each of their personal histories. Gord, by his own admission, has had 6 children with 4 women, Liz has had 2 children with 1 man. Hmmm...no disrespect intended, but food for thought.

Also, I think that the reason he chose to reveal the separation to the reporter was because even though Toronto is a big city, "The Circle is Small". He knew it wouldn't take long before it would be evident to the masses...he just took the initiative for us to "hear it from him".

************************************

Exactly. I heartly objected to the immediate assumption being that EVERYTHING was Elizabeth's fault and that she left because he was now a broken old man. It is NEVER all one person's fault. I do not worship Gordon, I am aware of his failings and his gift. It would seem to ME that the people who immediately assumed Elizabeth was guilty are the ones who are worshippers, not me.

[formerlylavender]

Char, thanks for posting this revealing article.

As for the separation, for all we know they could have been having problems for a while, even before the medical problems. I can't even imagine how much stress etc. being that ill would bring to a marriage. Hopefully they'll work out their problems, if that's what they both want.

I just hope that the news from the doctors next spring is good, and if not, that Gord has a good support system to get him through.

I hate to state the obvious, but has anyone considered the possibility the Lightfoot's were separated before his illness and that she stayed with him until he was past the worst of it? I have loved Gordon and his music for 32 years. I also believe he has probably suffered from bi-polar disorder most of his life. The condition is aggravated by alcohol abuse and even if one manages to stop drinking and remains on medication life can be difficult for the sufferer and everyone around them. Long term relationships are nearly impossible to sustain. The inability to reach a goal or "get their way" can wreak havoc for all concerned. Chronic physical ailments can also make symptoms worse. I work with this disorder (among others) in my professional and personal life everyday. Some of the most talented and intellegent people you will ever meet are afflicted with bi-polar disorder.
Of course as stated in this forum many times, who knows the real inner workings of Lightfoot's life. I hope his wish to return to recording and performing comes true. But most of all I wish for him and his family
God's peace.

Thank you for posting this. I would not have seen it otherwise. How sad to hear he and his wife are separated. Illness and near death affect people in ways that can't be predicted or even understood, not just the ones that are ill, but those that love them. It's a tough tough place to be in and it's hard to know what to do when so much has happened. I've been there too, and sadly the relationship did not survive either, not for lack of trying on both sides, but sometimes there's just way too much water under over and around the bridge for the relationship to ever gel again.

The other line that jumped out at me way "in that moment, I knew I was learning something I wasn't old enough to know." That's how I've always felt about Lightfoot songs. What I may not have understood at 12 or 20 or even 30, at some point I finally get. And I'm sure there are Lightfoot lines and songs still out there waiting to switch the light bulb on in my head. I think that's what the work of a true artist brings to someone's life.


------------------
Born once - Got it right the first time. )O(

Hello, responding to the posts about Gord needing a support system, or someone to talk to, I quote from "Everybody" by John Prine.

"See everybody needs somebody
that they can talk to,
someone to open up their ears,
and let that trouble through.
Now you don't have to sympathize,
or care what they may do.
But everybody needs somebody,
that they can talk to.

Matthew

[Oma]

Thanks, Char, for the article. It left me a little speechless, which is sometimes hard to do! I was, like everyone else here, extremely saddened by the news of his marital separation. But, I was also uplifted a bit by his comment of "we won't overplay that". That gives me hope for them. Marriage is so hard when you are just "average" people, I can't even imagine the stress of being in a marriage when one of the partners is GL!!! Then, of course, throw in this devestating medical blow and, well, it has to be more stressful than anyone can imagine. I wish them both peace and the strength to carry on emotionally.

The article itself was so interesting to read. Gord seemed so willing to share. I wish him only the best...may he continue to recover his health, may he find joy in his life!

[Auburn Annie]

quote:Originally posted by Oma:
<snip> The article itself was so interesting to read. Gord seemed so willing to share...

I've had that sense too. In spite of his illness he's been remarkably open - a welcome change from the understandably sparse reports we got when he was so out of it last fall. Could be it's his way of (a) reaching out to friends and fans, as suggested above, and (b) feeling like he's asserting at least some control over his (public) life. The interviews and brief appearances are a noticeable change from the past, even before his illness.

And speaking of interviews there's another brief article at the CBC News site on the tribute CD and how pleased he is with it. Nothing new but it's more press. The link is http://www.cbc.ca/artsCanada/stories...ttribute141003


[This message has been edited by Auburn Annie (edited October 14, 2003).]

[Rebecca]

AMEN!
quote:Originally posted by autumn leaves:
How dare ANYONE in here suggest that Elizabeth Lightfoot is the one who 'caused' the separation? HOw easy to say 'if you loved your spouse before he got sick...'? You, I, we are not privy to any of the information about what happened. We DO know that she was there for him when he collapsed and was by his side all the time he was in hospital. Is it possible that this wonderfully talented man, faced with loss, was next to impossible to live with and there was no choice but separation? I know as much as we would all like to see a 'happy ending' for Gordon, we also know that in the best of times he was sometimes difficult to deal with. He's introspective and moody, to say the least.

I hope he continues to recover. I hope he and Elizabeth solve their problems.

And I really think that some of you should be ashamed of yourselves for even suggesting such things about Elizabeth Lightfoot.

[Restless]

BreakPoint with Charles Colson
Commentary #031015 - 10/15/2003
In Sickness and In Health: The Amazing Vow Power

Forty years ago, a study called the Hammond Report analyzed the smoking habits of half a million people. Its conclusion: Smoking is dangerous to one's health. It was a warning that ended up on every pack of cigarettes sold. Ten years later, a researcher took another look at the Hammond Report and found something that had been overlooked -- something just as hazardous as a pack-a-day cigarette habit -- that is, divorce.

As Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher write in their book, THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE, an enterprising Surgeon General might wish to slap a warning label on divorce decrees, reading, "Not being married can be hazardous to your health." Research is proving that those who get -- and stay -- married can count on much better health than those who don't.

How much better? Waite and Gallagher found that divorced, single, and widowed people
are "far more likely to die from all causes," including heart disease, stroke, car accidents, murder, and suicide. As for cancer, being married dramatically increases the odds of survival. "Even sick people who marry live longer than their counterparts who don't," they write.

This happens in part because when people get married, they typically adopt a healthier
lifestyle. Men especially give up what Waite and Gallagher call "stupid bachelor tricks." They give up drinking and driving, fighting at bars, and abusing drugs, they say. Wives not only discourage such behavior, they also improve their husband's health by cooking them healthy meals, encouraging regular sleep, and scheduling doctor appointments for them.

Nagging, of course, can be irritating, but it works an important benefit in marriage. Husbands can improve their wives' lives, for example, by encouraging them to give up smoking and to get regular exercise. The emotional support a spouse can supply means that spouses recover more quickly when illness strikes, and this emotional support boosts the immune system. Recent divorce, on the other hand, is known to lower immune functioning.

Even monogamous marital sex can help couples ward off illness. These health benefits come about because marriage seems "to provide individuals with a sense of meaning in their lives," according to Waite and Gallagher. A wife feels licensed to nag in a way that a girlfriend doesn't, precisely because both husband and wife know their lives are intertwined.

[Auburn Annie]

All of which assumes you're in an emotionally healthy relationship. Being single or divorced is NOT the worst thing in some situations (and I hasten to add this comment has NOTHING to do with the Lightfoots; I'm not privy to their private lives and wouldn't comment if I was.)

However I *can* speak from close family experience, having a sibling who is married to someone diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having what is now called antisocial personality disorder (i.e. a sociopath.) These people can be utterly charming, well educated, successful etc. The flip side is they are chronic liars, have no sense of responsibility, are impulsive, emotionally immature and abusive, and self-centered - in other words, devastating to live with and no role model for children. They do not consider other people's wishes, welfare or
rights. They can be manipulative and may lie to gain personal pleasure or profit. They may default on loans, fail to provide child support, or fail to care for their dependents adequately. High risk sexual behavior and substance abuse are common. Unfortunately all of the above applies to the soon-to-be former inlaw.

Like Tolstoy wrote, "all happy families resemble each other; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

[Iron]

Assumptions,Speculations,Pointing fingers,thats no place to go.....
Autobiography?,He's been doing that for thirty some years.....This is yet another chapter to be heard...

[Char1]

http://www.northernblues.com/

get the album here.
char

[GJA]

I really hope that Gordon and Liz can fix their marriage. I don't want him to be lonely. And I'm sure he misses his kids.