On the problems in the mutual fund industry:
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Here's one for the weekend, from Deep Blue.
"The Wreck of the Mutual Fund Industry" (Note: Deep Blue has lost his mind this time. It's a good thing. To be sung, of course, to the tune of Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." Thanks, Blue!)
The legend lives on from the A.G.'s on down
of the big fake they called "Tradie Timey."
The SEC, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of October turn gloomy.
With a load of buy orders twenty-six thousand slips or more
than the Fund Industry weighed crooked,
that supposed good firms and true was a bone to be chewed
when the "Trades of October" came early.
The firm was the pride of the Marsh & McLennan side
coming back from some hills up in Boston.
As big firms go, it was bigger than most
with a crew and 300 or so billion well seasoned,
it concluded some terms with a couple of hedge firms
when they left fully loaded from the Via Matta.
And later that morn' when the market's bell rang,
could it be the voice of Mr. Galvin they'd been feelin'?
The orders in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
and a wave broke over across in Denver.
And ev'ry two-face man knew, as the captain did too
'twas the witch of New York come a dealin'.
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
when the Voice of October came accusin'.
When afternoon came it was cursin' rain
in the face of hurricane Spitzer.
When suppertime came Gary Pilgrim came on deck sayin'.
"Fellas, I've been doing it too."
On 11/13 a main hatchway caved in; he said,
"Fellas, it's bin good t'know ya!"
The captain wired in he had bad money comin' in
and the good firm and integrity was in peril.
And later that week when all trust went outta sight
came the wreck of the another Fund Name.
Does any one know where the love of God goes
when the scandals turn the minutes to hours?
The pundits all say they'd have made more that way
if they'd put Canary Partners behind 'em.
They might have buried the facts or they might have again lied;
they may have admitted no wrongdoing and drank up some water.
And all that remains is the faces and the names
of the 529 plans for investors' sons and daughters.
Strong Funds rolls, Nations Funds knows
in the Halls of their glorified mansions.
Old Bank One steals all of Main Street's dreams;
Those dollar-costing ways are for Laymen!
And farther below Alger Funds they suppose
takes in what Alliance Cap can send her,
And the cheatin' goes on as Donaldson looked on
with the Gales of October remembered.
In a musty old hall in Washington they conveyed,
in the Financial Services Subcommittee.
The man, Bogle, did chime pass House rule 24-20 !
for each scandal the industry bared witness .
The legend lives on from the A.G's on down
of the big fake they called "Tradie Timey."
The SEC, it is said, never gives up her dead
when the skies of October turn gloomy.
Email Andy Serwer at
serwer@fortunemail.com.
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Doesn't quite scan but then nobody can
Sing it like the original author.....
