Hello old friends; geodeticman "geo steve"

[timetraveler]

G-Man, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I figured that it had to be serious. I have no clue where to begin. So feel free to talk all you like, and in the mean time I pray for you. Big hugs to go with the prayers.

[Peter Bro10]

Welcome home Geo Steve.
Sorry to hear of your loss!
I can only say ditto to the many fine expressions here... I wish you comfort and peace in your time of sorrow.
You and Merry will continue to be in my daily prayers....
Peace be with you my friend!

[LadyA]

A long time "lurker" but rare poster, I remember reading some of your previous posts. My heart & prayers go to you during this time. May being here amongst your old friends make your burden a little lighter. It sounds as if it already is. Take care & be good to yourself.

[geodeticman.5]

So I don't overlook any kindness above, Thank you ALL.

You folks feel like a second family to me.
And Gordon is The Man !

~ geo Steve

[geodeticman.5]

Ladies in the thread: A quick, but heartfelt thought. It is a bit out-of-context, but speaking of losing Merry in any other thread would be a bummer to the readers, and in poor taste, for many obvious reasons, especially in threads where I raise a discussion-provoking, or ending ! - subject. If I were to make an addendum in any other thread than this about a recent thought on losing Merry, it would be an emotional unfair and unkind act that would be potentially misinterpreted as "playing an emotional card" - good Lord I could not raise the subject of her with anything but the most sincere of reasons...

Having said that, too much preface, too much worry, too much apologizing on my part have all surfaced in the last few months I've been back on board.

New subject pertaining to Merry, as a man's ort of advice to women; that's the point of my post today. Today is (was, 4 hours ago) rather would have been Merry's birthday. Mamie and I went out to dinner as a cheerer-upper, and to discuss Mamie's mom with her, and sort of, memorialize her informally, to honour her in the sanctity of her remaining immediate family's privacy. One thing I told Mamie, and is also my two-cents worth of advice for this post ( its a million bucks to me metaphorically, if not priceless in its context) has to do with fragrance. Don't underestimate it, Ladies.

From a man's perspective; a husband's,lifetime partner's, and a lover's perspective, as I told Mamie, an adult woman now, married, in tasteful context as appropo for my daughter to hear just some of, regarding my memories of her mother, and the images and senses they elicited, fragrance played very heavily.

Without getting too tech-ie, in short, I have read that of all the 5 senses, the largest memory sector in our brain for sensory memory is olfactory -sense of smell, and memories of it.... believe it or not ; moreso than visual images that would have been my guess. Experiencing the truth of that... I almost cannot picture Merry's face in my mind's eye, sort of, now, until I look at her picture on my desk...and it all comes back. Some sort of protective mechanism, I suppose.. But what DOES come back sharply, Ladies, and I mean very powerfully, and evocative of very strong context memories of events, etc., stem from her fragrance.

She wore a fragrance she knew I liked....it is one she wore on our honeymoon in the Tetons. It reminds me of the obvious Lightfoot song, "Affair on Eighth Avenue" - please allow me this excess here:

.........
The perfume that she wore was from some little store
On the down side of town
But it lingered on long after she'd gone
I remember it well
And she showed me her treasures of paper and tin
And then we played a game only she could win
And our fingers entwined like ribbons of light
And we came through a doorway somewhere in the night....... ~gl

It is difficult... but very special to me....that she took such care in wearing the fragrance that she knew I loved on her.... she would not wear it to work, she reserved it for our time together, which I thought was nice....

I can smell it so strongly right now....and its like she is here... and now and then... I can smell it out of the blue..... I don't hold with supernatural things.... but memory and the mind can do both wonderful and hard things...

this one is wonderful.....

So Ladies, "if you are of a mind to" - as Merry and her family was given to saying.... wear your fragrance your husband likes for him, one that goes all the way back to your honeymoon if you can identify it...... and believe me, he will hold it precious for all his life... and you.....

humble advice, worth no more than you pay for it, I know, but my price paid was very high in learning it, and its worth sharing, that others may have this special extra something...between them... and it does in fact linger on..for a lifetime...

Thanks for letting me get that out on her Birthday today.... I hope it brings you some happiness in knowing how powerful.... your subtle fragrance is...

Happy Birthday, Merry

[Sundown17]

Thank you Steve, for that precious piece of advice from a man's intimate point of view that we women so crave.

A couple of thoughts ran through my mind whilst reading your post...

It's true the sense of smell is the most provocative memory inducer.

And, if you believe that sort of stuff (and I do)...John Edward, the psychic medium, has said that if you smell something that is associated with a lost loved one, in your case Steve, Merry's perfume, or in my case, my dad's pipe tobacco, it is their way of coming through and saying "I'm here".

Special thoughts to you and Mamie on this bittersweet day. What a great dad you are.

Diane

[geodeticman.5]

Thanks, Diane... very thoughful of you.

[louisemnnpls]

Geo Steve,
Am so very sorry to hear of your great loss. You will certainly be in our thoughts and our prayers. It is quite evident that you have found much solace coming back here to this wonderful group of people. (Maybe one of the most understanding groups one could ever find.....Gord's fans are that way for sure.) As for your new My Space site, I would recomend My Space highly. Have met many wonderful people there from all around the world, and it has proved to be a blessing. You take care....God bless you.

louise m

[geodeticman.5]

Thank you Louise; that's very kind of you. I am indeed benefitting from people just being themselves here, good to be around. The "walk gently around him" thing is quite kind, it happened for a few days, and then it progressed as it should to everyone just being themselves - which is what I need - when they're good people - and of coure, these are. I've found my comfortable chair for this time period of mourning, (being in here with these folk)which soon must come to a close -in so far as the sabbatical part of it, time off and all.

Back to being whomever I'm going to be from here on out - and whatever I'm going to be. I'm not ready to take my ring off yet - its been almost 5 months. I wish I could snap my fingers, heal everything about it, then snap my fingers again for the reccomended 2 -3 year "wait until date" rule, as I've been noticing a pretty lady about my age in town, known her 10 years as a customer, and I can picture it , but then again, I can't..yet... I wonder how I'll know when its right and heathly ? You get the big heavy Q's, Louise ! lol sorry, please feel no need to answer these almost rhetorical Q'S right now, thinking-out-loud Q's. I don't think there are answers yet.