A (?) Ladies:In a Man,whata U look 4 most?

Borderstone · 08-18-2003, 08:13 PM

I ask this Ladies because I'm trying to find a way to change myself a bit so that maybe I can be more of what women are looking for. I'm not sure what else that might be. I think of myself as intelligent,humorous or witty,a gentleman and devoted (when it's right) and I guess fun,unless that falls under humorous. So ladies I ask you,"Help! I need somebody! Help!" I'd truly appreciate your advice!

Bye now!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

Cathy · 08-18-2003, 08:26 PM

quote:Originally posted by Borderstone:
I ask this Ladies because I'm trying to find a way to change myself a bit so that maybe I can be more of what women are looking for. I'm not sure what else that might be. I think of myself as intelligent,humorous or witty,a gentleman and devoted (when it's right) and I guess fun,unless that falls under humorous. So ladies I ask you,"Help! I need somebody! Help!" I'd truly appreciate your advice! Bye now!

Learn to play the guitar and sing like Gordon Lightfoot.

Cathy

BILLW · 08-18-2003, 08:35 PM

Well I ain't a lady man but whatever you do don't go on that show, "Five Queers try to Makeover a Straight fella" or whatever the heck it's called.

Bill

gwen snyder · 08-18-2003, 08:45 PM

Cathy, LOL
BILLW, how would you know what it's like?
BS, really. Just be yourself.

08-18-2003, 09:54 PM

I met a gentleman in a chat room the other night. He didn't use a single come on lines, no personal questions like how old are you and what's your bra size, nor inane questions like "How's the weather there?" We wound up talking for hours.

What attracted me? He responded to a comment I made with a question. We had an actual conversation. That rarely happens in chat rooms for me with total strangers.

That's also the quickest way to strike up a conversation in real life. Be interested in the person in front of you.

I've been through a half dozen sales training courses and the one "revolutionary" thing they all want to teach you is to figure out how what you're selling can help the buyer solve their problems. Don't concentrate on how great the product is, but set out to understand what the buyer needs, what their concerns are, what they're going through. Same thing applies to meeting women I think. We don't care how great, good looking or wealth you are if you can't hold a decent conversation or if you're an arogant jerk.

Well, okay, there are SOME women who care what kind of car you drive and how much money you have, but those aren't women you want to know.

quote:Originally posted by Borderstone:
I ask this Ladies because I'm trying to find a way to change myself a bit so that maybe I can be more of what women are looking for. I'm not sure what else that might be. I think of myself as intelligent,humorous or witty,a gentleman and devoted (when it's right) and I guess fun,unless that falls under humorous. So ladies I ask you,"Help! I need somebody! Help!" I'd truly appreciate your advice! Bye now!

[This message has been edited by violet Blue Horse (edited August 18, 2003).]

BILLW · 08-19-2003, 04:35 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by gwen snyder:

BILLW, how would you know what it's like?

Gwen,
Notice I said "don't go on it", not don't watch it or stumble into it "clicking around" as many of us are accused of overdoing, LOL. Good catch, tho'!

Bill

08-19-2003, 10:14 AM

Borderstone, I am sure you are a wonderful guy. However: If you use the personal pronoun in your oral conversation as often as you do in your posts. That would be a major turn off, at least for me.
By pulling 5 of your posts at random, I have counted 45 uses of the personal pronoun, I, or one of it's derivatives. Too much man, too much.

Borderstone · 08-19-2003, 04:27 PM

BillW! I happen to like the show,Querr Eye for the Straight Guy. I find it absolutely hilarious to watch these so called "real men" or "grown men" having to be shown how to dress better,keep their apartment clean,decorate and just learn how to act like a gentleman! It's too dang funny! Heaven knows I could use a very slight wardrobe update. I buy clothes as often as I can but I don't buy for the sake of fashion./// Thanks for the replies ladies and if any of the others have not answered yet,please do! So far though,it seems (according to your replies) I'm already mostly on track.

P.S.-As for referring to myself in messages,I have only me and my immediate family & a couple of close friends. Who else would I talk about? Or am I misunderstanding what you mean? Don't worry,when I do talk to a woman,I want to hear about her. Then if she wants to hear about me,I'll say a few things but not so I end up braging on myself. It's been me,later!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

gwen snyder · 08-19-2003, 09:34 PM

BILLW, LOL

TheWatchman · 08-19-2003, 09:41 PM

Get some tattoos and a Harley. Ride your bike and drink your beer with an attitude. If you don't smoke, start now. You can always quite once you find that special woman.

formerlylavender · 08-20-2003, 02:39 PM

Hi Borderstone, I'm about your age (just turned 36 August 3), and I agree with the other womens' posts. Being a good listener and a good sense of humor are important. You have to be yourself...you'll end up resenting anyone you have to "change" for. Also, be trustworthy and on time, but don't come across as too desperate - that's a major turnoff.

Borderstone · 08-20-2003, 03:50 PM

Watchman....har-har-har-de-har-har.

: I'd pull that off as well as well as if Bob Saget started dressing that way!

///// F.Lavender,you pointed out one of things that I think has been my problem. I wont say which it is,but I'll certainly improve on it. Otherwise,I'm a-O.K. on the rest. I've thought of one other thing,I have to accept that the worst a woman can say is no and move on. Although,I experienced 1 or 2 that got bent out of shape by my even speaking to them! Like they feel I'm out of their leauge or something. I guess that goes with the kind of women I wouldn't want to know anyways. It's been me,later!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

brink · 08-21-2003, 03:02 PM

Borderstone, where do you try to meet women? I hope you are not barhopping! Join some groups or volunteer, I personally would never date a guy who didn't like animals (No watchman, not to eat or wear!). Help out at the Animal shelter or the Best Friends league, you know that women you would meet there have a good heart or they would be volunteering. Just a suggestion.
The other Deb (not Oma-Hi Oma)

Borderstone · 08-21-2003, 07:29 PM

Brink! The bar scene? Heck,no!

I'd sooner put a sign around my neck saying,"Please Love Me Ladies?" //// I tend to strike up a coversation with a woman I find attractive in many different places. They just sort of happen. I've done that twice this year and I could tell they liked talking to me but after getting my # they didn't call. They're loss I guess. I certainly wasn't pushy in any sense and in respect for their privacy and their own safety concerns,I gav mine instead of asking for theirs. As for volunteering someplace,sounds like a good idea. I've never voluteered for anything before. I've wanted to but in trying to keep my head above water,I just never have. Maybe I can now. I'll look into it! Thanks!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

[This message has been edited by Borderstone (edited August 21, 2003).]

Borderstone · 08-21-2003, 07:33 PM

I forgot to say> I love animals very much. I may sound like a softy for saying so but I absolutley melt when I see cute animals like puppies,kittens and baby rabbits etc. Full grown ones are nice too. Awwww....wook at da widdle puppy!!

:

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

brink · 08-21-2003, 08:35 PM

See B you'd be a natural for the shelters and dogs are like kids when you're in the park and there's single women around. A;so, if you volunteer and there are only attached women around, remember they probably have single friends!

08-22-2003, 12:26 PM

quote:Originally posted by Borderstone:
I ask this Ladies because I'm trying to find a way to change myself a bit so that maybe I can be more of what women are looking for. I'm not sure what else that might be. I think of myself as intelligent,humorous or witty,a gentleman and devoted (when it's right) and I guess fun,unless that falls under humorous. So ladies I ask you,"Help! I need somebody! Help!" I'd truly appreciate your advice! Bye now!

Smile a wee bit more, but not a dorky smile, smile like your cool

Borderstone · 08-22-2003, 02:17 PM

I tried that DMD3,got a lot of laughs to. I consider myself cool by being myself. I have tried to be the kind of cool you're talking about but it doesn't fit my persona. Of course you'd have to meet me to know what I mean. Been me,later!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

Cathy · 08-24-2003, 03:09 PM

quote:Originally posted by TheWatchman:
Get some tattoos and a Harley. Ride your bike and drink your beer with an attitude. If you don't smoke, start now. You can always quite once you find that special woman.

And change your name to Bubba or something like that. But you can still refer to yourself as "The B" around these parts.

Cathy

Borderstone · 08-24-2003, 05:19 PM

Bubba?

I don't wanna name myself after chewing gum!

(hubba-hubba)

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

gwen snyder · 08-24-2003, 09:35 PM

BS, Cathy is trying to make you user-friendly. It can only help your image, an example would be when a woman is being offended by a man who does not want to date her or even be civil, that is the time when a woman needs a man named Bubba the most... when she is crushed and needs someone to understand what she feels. There are men with certain names that I would trust those intmate inner distressful times to, exclusively, men sometimes forget that women are not men.
Keep that in mind.

08-25-2003, 05:07 AM

Whilst cruisin' thru America some little time ago, I came across a radio station with a DJ who called himself 'Bubba the Love Sponge' could this have been Borderstone?

Borderstone · 08-25-2003, 09:06 PM

I originally lived not too many miles from the Appalachian Mountains. Being called Bubba,is more like a way of being referred to as stupid,slow or dumb. I know I'm not but you don't forget things like that. I'd rather be called Walt or Big W or such. I have plans to not only get involved in a volunteer project (soon as I can work out a schedule around my job) but I plan to go out more on week-ends or even week-nights and get my nerve up to approach women more confidently.

Good-luck to me,I need it!

Thanks to all again!

Later!

------------------
Borderstone (An,"Avid Listner" of G.L.)

10-27-2003, 01:16 PM

When you do get a girlfriend, treat her like she's #1.

TheWatchman · 10-27-2003, 02:20 PM

I'm sticking to guns on this one. Smokes (preferably Marlboro or Camel), beer, a loud Harley and attitude will pull you through.

Being that you said this will not work for you, there is only one thing left. Don't comb your hair and dress like you don't give a crap about what goes with what. Give the ladies an attitude and play hard-to-get. They love that. Don't be too eager to get close to them either. Forget about showing your feelings. Woman only say they like that on Opra. On the street, they want a hard-ass with greasy hair and mis-matched clothes.


	You are at: Home - Discussion Forum