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Old 08-12-2014, 03:39 PM   #1
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Default Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

How much can you say in two minutes? Putting Calgary radio station’s QuickHitz plan to the test
David Berry | August 12, 2014 12:08 PM ET

Calgary radio station's QuickHitz song-editing plan: A test drive

Calgary’s AMP recently became the first Canadian radio station to adopt the QuickHitz format, which edits all of its pop songs down to versions no longer than two minutes. But what can you really say in less time than it takes to microwave popcorn? We cut pop hits of the past present off at the two-minute mark to figure out what they’re about.

Calgary radio station offers twice the hits by cutting songs in half

“Fancy,” Iggy Azalea
Long version She’s fancy, and she needs three-and-a-half minutes to explain that, even though you apparently already know
Two-minute version Still pretty fancy, although you will be completely in the dark about Iggy’s stance on “touching that” and who, exactly, that (I-G-G-Y, just to be clear)

“Happy,” Pharrell Williams
Long version Can’t nothing bring him down
Two-minute version Still pretty indomitable, but seems about 50% less happy for some reason

“Dark Horse,” Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
Long version Katy Perry tells you that if you ever break her heart, she will cut you. SHE WILL CUT YOU.
Two-minute version Still enough threatening to make you want to run away, but without the endorsement from Juicy J that even though she is like Jeffrey Dahmer, he thinks he loves her

“Bohemian Rhapsody,” Queen
Long version A poor boy laments his impending doom, is terrified of what might await him, and briefly considers fighting his fate
Two-minute version A kind of whiny guy dies in the gutter

“November Rain,” Guns N’ Roses
Long version Axl Rose really lays out the mixed-up reasons why two people are drawn to each other, explaining the push-and-pull of love as semi-destructive, totally inescapable force
Two-minute version Axl Rose recommends against buying candles on cloudy days in November

“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” Gordon Lightfoot
Long version Twenty-nine sailors are swallowed by the unforgiving waters of Lake Superior and her terrifying early November gales
Two-minute version A bunch of guys on a ship sure don’t like the look of those clouds

“Hey Jude,” The Beatles
Long version Jude learns that he must stop stalling and take responsibility for his own life — nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah
Two-minute version Though he doesn’t learn that the movement he needs is on his shoulder, Jude does spend a lot less time dicking around in the land of Nah

“Stairway to Heaven,” Led Zeppelin
Long version There’s a lady who is trying to buy the stairway to heaven, but eventually we learn that it is a path we must walk ourselves, not simply claim
Two-minute version This buying your way into heaven thing just might work, if you can put up with the painfully gutless flutes and guitars that apparently await you there.

“Rapper’s Delight,” Sugarhill Gang
Long version Various members of the Sugarhill Gang explain how awesome they are, especially in the eyes of women, and detail some of their food preferences
Two-minute version We have no idea if they take those women back to a hotel, motel or Holiday Inn, and god only knows what they are eating

“Baby Got Back,” Sir Mix-a-Lot
Long version Sir Mix-a-Lot explodes the vicious lie that men only appreciate small, non-much-packed backs
Two-minute version Ample-butted women will forever be in the dark about how, precisely, to get in Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Mercedes. They might even do something horrible like try to work out until they have a flat ass.

“Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” Meat Loaf
Long version Mr. Loaf gets lucky by a lake, but only by making a promise that he regrets for the rest of his life
Two-minute version The camera pans away before anything happens, but it certainly doesn’t sound like anyone is going to need to make any promises to slide into home
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Old 08-12-2014, 07:59 PM   #2
Shutup and Deal, I'm Losin'
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Default Re: Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

Canadian Railroad Trilogy in 2 minutes simply tells us that there was once no railroad and that the forest was very quiet. :o
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Old 08-13-2014, 05:00 AM   #3
Jim Nasium
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Default Re: Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

They could play this, then you get the whole song
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:56 AM   #4
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Default Re: Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

in stairway, it doesnt even make you wonder how to get there!
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Old 08-13-2014, 07:28 AM   #5
Auburn Annie
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Default Re: Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

Which half of the Mona Lisa do you want to see?
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Old 08-13-2014, 11:58 AM   #6
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Default Re: Calgary radio cutting songs to 2 minutes

What a Great game!!
Hows about
In the past Buddy Holly wore a pair of Levis (usually dry)

"Sir" John Fowles Bt
Honorary Curator Bootleg Museum

(where Sir does not signify that I am a fully benighted Knight just a Bt which signifies a humble Baronet -?? read the wiki!)
I meant no one no harm
Once inside we found a curious moonbeam
Doing dances on the floor

Last edited by johnfowles; 08-14-2014 at 03:36 PM.
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