Well, I play the mini-barre A chord, don't mute the high E, and I don't think my fingers are hyper-extended. For some reason (I have no idea why), that's how I first learned to play the A. I think my guitar teacher taught me to play it that way. I had trouble with it for a few weeks, then finally played it cleanly on his Taylor. It took a few more days to play it cleanly on my Martin. Now I usually play the barre (well, on the rare occasion when I play), although I use the 3 fingered version occasionally depending on the chord progression.
As I recall, the trick to it is consciously pressing down with the middle of your finger, while simultaneously consciously lifting the base. Sounds tough, I agree, but that's how I learned it.
Now if I could only play the rest of the chords.
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