There once was a man greater than all who had come before him. People say that he could down trees and level towns all with but a single glance. Wild beasts would cower at the mere mention of his name. His name was....
Some people cannot be described by words alone. In fact, when I try to describe my love of Gord to others, I am often left speechless. For me, Gord transcends both the time and space continuum. As his legend grew, nations grew weary, and his status approached ubiquity. Villagers claimed that despite his wolflike features, he never slept. Since the beginning of time, he drew his energy from the sun, becoming stronger with each successive century. His tree-trunk like arms could fire a cross bow clear across the ocean. Those who were present claimed that he would fire an arrow in one direction, and after circling the world once or twice it would return to his grasp. Mear mortals who e'en dare stare into his fire-like eyes turned instantly into wood. Those who felt or smelled his icy breath would vaporize. His chest wreaked of mucus and dead rabbit poop, yet glicened in the sun due to a demanding training regimin which included a 10 year period of him doing push-ups continously, breaking only for a total of 3 minutes, only to kill 10,000 wombats with the mere swing of his arm. While living underwater for 30 years, he developed crude gills, and adapted an uncanny ability to deliver an electic shock with his finger, much like an eel. Unlike mere mortals, he required neither oxygen, nor food. He developed an unprecedented and irregular pattern of feeding through photosynthesis. Through the years, his finger nails became that like concrete. In fact when he did cut his nails, highways throughout the country were developed from his robust nail fixings.
Gord, you are truly a legend, and every time I see a full moon, your sillouhette shines through the darkness and I hear you howling my name ... Spanish Moss! Through this, I realize that my glass is almost empty.....
Yours until the next railroad trilogy, SM
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