Gordon Lightfoot Forums - View Single Post - You Know You're a (your state) resident if...

charlene · 08-22-2008, 10:58 AM

You Know You LIve in TORONTO:

A really great parking spot can move you to tears.

You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.

You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.

When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"

You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV

You haven`t been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator.

You`ve had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.

A man gets on the subway in full leather regalia and
crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.

The guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks wearing the baseball
cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney actually is George
Clooney.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the
woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It's barely snowing and there's a report on every news
station about "STORM WATCH 2004."

You pass an elementary school playground and the children
are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.

It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for
work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Both you AND your dog have therapists

You`ve fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma

At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver

You never, never, never swim in the lake

You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there

You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter or The Old Spaghetti Factory.

You can say "world`s tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast

You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"

You speak better Chinese than French

The word "cabbagetown" doesn`t strike you as particularily amusing

Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.

You don`t know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life

You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai at 3 am on a weeknight

For the last time, it`s pronounced `TRONNA`!

It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends.

You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus.

You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one instead of 4 oh 1.

You`ve taken the vomit comit.

You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.

You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia.

You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.

You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe

You pass up on an overpriced $3 coffee from Starbucks for a box of Timbits and a coffee from Tim Horton's

You wish to see the day the Leafs will win their first cup since 1967

You know Yonge St. is the longest street in the world

You have friends from the US dying to come over to take advantage of the 19 and over drinking age

You're proud great actors like Jim Carey, Mike Myers, and John Candy are from your hometown.

Acronyms like "da T-Dot" puzzle our friends across the border

Y-TV was your favorite TV station growing up

You know what the P.A.T.H. is

During the World Cup, you don't feel like you live in Canada anymore

ATM machines have instructions written in english and chinese

You're not surprised when you've been waiting for an hour in the freezing cold for the TTC and 4 buses or streetcars come at once.

You play dodge the crackhead while driving at Sherbourne and Dundas

After a blizzard and with all the snow, bikers still seem to control the streets (and seem to cause the traffic jams too)

You start to wonder how far you can punt a pidgeon...

You try to pass off a dime as a TTC token when you think the subway man isnt watching!!!

when you live a systemic life everyday like a robot and the government takes away most of you money on 14% tax !!! and income tax

you can spot the out-of-town'er because of their slow walking habits. HATE THAT!

you go to the ex every year even though you realize its slowly getting worse with each passing year...

you see your former mayor on TV in an old-fashionned prison jump suit trying to sell you a discount-priced sofa.

You would love it if the subway was 24 hours, but know it will never happen.

when you like to tell ppl that Kiefer Sutherland lived for most of his life here

you get excited when you find out that a movie was filmed in Toronto...and then proceed to criticize how shit the movie was after watching it

you join a group on facebook called 'You know you're from Toronto when...

you stop to count how many lights are blown out on the Sam the Record man sign

you dont get startled anymore by the guy at Yonge and Dundas who always suddenly yells when you least expect it "JESUS!! saaaves"

Your co-workers have eight body piercings and none are
visible.

You make more than $300,000 and still can't afford a
house.

Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose
ring and is named Breeze.

You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a
sperm donor.

You "rrrroll up the rim" to win at Tim Horton's and always lose..

When you see Gordon Lightfoot walking on Yonge St. and nobody notices him but if they do they just wave and say 'hi'..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto.

08-22-2008, 10:58 AM	#9
charlene Moderator Join Date: May 2000 Posts: 16,001	Re: You Know You're a (your state) resident if... You Know You LIve in TORONTO: A really great parking spot can move you to tears. You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours. You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags. When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!" You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV You haven`t been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator. You`ve had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years. A man gets on the subway in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice. The guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney actually is George Clooney. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag. It's barely snowing and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2004." You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. Both you AND your dog have therapists You`ve fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver You never, never, never swim in the lake You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter or The Old Spaghetti Factory. You can say "world`s tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River" You speak better Chinese than French The word "cabbagetown" doesn`t strike you as particularily amusing Castle Frank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you. You don`t know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai at 3 am on a weeknight For the last time, it`s pronounced `TRONNA`! It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends. You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus. You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one instead of 4 oh 1. You`ve taken the vomit comit. You can manuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks. You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia. You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM. You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe You pass up on an overpriced $3 coffee from Starbucks for a box of Timbits and a coffee from Tim Horton's You wish to see the day the Leafs will win their first cup since 1967 You know Yonge St. is the longest street in the world You have friends from the US dying to come over to take advantage of the 19 and over drinking age You're proud great actors like Jim Carey, Mike Myers, and John Candy are from your hometown. Acronyms like "da T-Dot" puzzle our friends across the border Y-TV was your favorite TV station growing up You know what the P.A.T.H. is During the World Cup, you don't feel like you live in Canada anymore ATM machines have instructions written in english and chinese You're not surprised when you've been waiting for an hour in the freezing cold for the TTC and 4 buses or streetcars come at once. You play dodge the crackhead while driving at Sherbourne and Dundas After a blizzard and with all the snow, bikers still seem to control the streets (and seem to cause the traffic jams too) You start to wonder how far you can punt a pidgeon... You try to pass off a dime as a TTC token when you think the subway man isnt watching!!! when you live a systemic life everyday like a robot and the government takes away most of you money on 14% tax !!! and income tax you can spot the out-of-town'er because of their slow walking habits. HATE THAT! you go to the ex every year even though you realize its slowly getting worse with each passing year... you see your former mayor on TV in an old-fashionned prison jump suit trying to sell you a discount-priced sofa. You would love it if the subway was 24 hours, but know it will never happen. when you like to tell ppl that Kiefer Sutherland lived for most of his life here you get excited when you find out that a movie was filmed in Toronto...and then proceed to criticize how shit the movie was after watching it you join a group on facebook called 'You know you're from Toronto when... you stop to count how many lights are blown out on the Sam the Record man sign you dont get startled anymore by the guy at Yonge and Dundas who always suddenly yells when you least expect it "JESUS!! saaaves" Your co-workers have eight body piercings and none are visible. You make more than $300,000 and still can't afford a house. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring and is named Breeze. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor. You "rrrroll up the rim" to win at Tim Horton's and always lose.. When you see Gordon Lightfoot walking on Yonge St. and nobody notices him but if they do they just wave and say 'hi'.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto.