Oma, not dumb questions at all. I am a Brit, and I do not understand American football.
This race is the cycling equivalent of 'Superbowl', 'The World Series', Soccers 'World Cup' etc. The race lasts 3 weeks, there are 20 stages plus a Prologue time trial. The shortest stage is the Prologue, this year 6.5 km a little over 4 miles. These guys will ride at well over 30 mph. The prologue is the first event to determine which rider will wear the race leaders Yellow Jersey for the first stage.
The shortest of the main stages is 49 km which is an individual time trial where each rider rides alone against the clock, the French call the time trial 'The Race Of Truth' The longest stage is 230.5 kms.
There are 22 teams of 9 riders, the teams have to qualify, during the season, to be invited to ride the event. The race starts and finishes in Paris, it always finishes on the Champs-Elysees. This year the total distance will be 3427.5 kms.
There is a team called US Postal, the team leader is Lance Armstrong, a Texan, he has won the Tour the last 4 years. He is hoping to win this year and become 1 of only 5 riders ever to win 5 tours. a BIG BIG achievment if he can do it, I think he can.
The race does cover most of France. It really gets exciting when it hits the Alps and the Pyrenees, the big long climbs sort out the men from the boys.
There are various classifications, the main one is the overall winner (the Yellow Jeresey). There are team classifications also. In any team there is normally only one rider who could win the race, the riders ride for him to give him every chance of winning. This year the prize money to the winner is 400,000 euros? A lot of money in any ones language. The winner will not keep that, he will give it to his team, as a thank you for helping him. He will make a lot of cash through sponsorship etc during the coming year. This is a massive carnival that rolls through France and is quite a spectacle, there are millions of people lining the route in the towns and villages as it rolls along. It is quite a sight.
I know France is not Americas favourite place at the moment, however if you can ever get to France, it is a beautiful country and the people are very friendly, I think you would love it. I hope this answers your questions.
Please excuse any mistakes in this post, I am running late and do not have time to proof read

PS the race finishes this Sunday (27th)