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young stranger · 09-28-2001, 04:33 PM

Janice,
Thank-you for keeping me honest, that is the most useful reply I've ever received from a posting. You are absolutely right, we can't blame everything on the parents. Even with great parents, a kid can choose his/her own path, so at some point, especially when you become an adult, it is up to you to live your life right. And it's funny that you mentioned me knowing all this at such a young age, because I've been told that a number of times. I don't know, I guess I can thank my parents, but also I am just a very observant person. When you step back and watch people, instead of speaking, it's amazing what you see. A lot of it seems incredibly obvious to me. I get kind of annoyed when I hear a report on the news or a talk show about relationships or parenting because to me, most of what they say is so obvious. I don't have children yet, and I'm sure that I will learn more when I do, but I don't think you have to be a parent to understand some of this stuff. In church last weekend, a couple was in front of us with their two young children (a boy about 5, and a girl about 2 or 3). Now, of course the kids were uncomfortable and bored. The little girl was fooling around with her mother, crawling up into her lap one minute, getting down the next. After a while, mom wanted her to go pester her father for a bit and he was two seats away (the church replaced the pews with cushioned chairs which are connected to each other). Mom had the girl in her arms and just moved her to the seat next to her, feet first, standing on the chair. Then mom gives her a little push and the girl responds by walking over the two chairs to her dad, which was fine with them. All the while, the whole church is standing up either singing or listening to the priest's prayer, I forget which. But is it any wonder why kids are disrespectful and have no discipline? I understand that it's hard to keep a kid sitting down in church for an hour, I hated it too when I was that age. But I dealt with it, because I knew that sitting there bored for an hour was much better than dealing with my parents at home if I was rude in church. And when I did act up, they weren't bashful to lean over and whisper in my ear that if I didn't behave I was gonna get it! I don't think that many parents realize that the little things, like making the kids behave in church or a restaurant, are what help to shape a child's personality and demeanor. I guess this stuff seems obvious because when I see a parent allowing a kid to act rude, I remember what my parents did and I thank them for raising me right and I am amazed that these other parents don't know what a disservice they're giving to their own kids. What to do about it, though? I don't really know.

[This message has been edited by young stranger (edited September 28, 2001).]

09-28-2001, 04:33 PM	#19
young stranger Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: New England Posts: 62	Janice, Thank-you for keeping me honest, that is the most useful reply I've ever received from a posting. You are absolutely right, we can't blame everything on the parents. Even with great parents, a kid can choose his/her own path, so at some point, especially when you become an adult, it is up to you to live your life right. And it's funny that you mentioned me knowing all this at such a young age, because I've been told that a number of times. I don't know, I guess I can thank my parents, but also I am just a very observant person. When you step back and watch people, instead of speaking, it's amazing what you see. A lot of it seems incredibly obvious to me. I get kind of annoyed when I hear a report on the news or a talk show about relationships or parenting because to me, most of what they say is so obvious. I don't have children yet, and I'm sure that I will learn more when I do, but I don't think you have to be a parent to understand some of this stuff. In church last weekend, a couple was in front of us with their two young children (a boy about 5, and a girl about 2 or 3). Now, of course the kids were uncomfortable and bored. The little girl was fooling around with her mother, crawling up into her lap one minute, getting down the next. After a while, mom wanted her to go pester her father for a bit and he was two seats away (the church replaced the pews with cushioned chairs which are connected to each other). Mom had the girl in her arms and just moved her to the seat next to her, feet first, standing on the chair. Then mom gives her a little push and the girl responds by walking over the two chairs to her dad, which was fine with them. All the while, the whole church is standing up either singing or listening to the priest's prayer, I forget which. But is it any wonder why kids are disrespectful and have no discipline? I understand that it's hard to keep a kid sitting down in church for an hour, I hated it too when I was that age. But I dealt with it, because I knew that sitting there bored for an hour was much better than dealing with my parents at home if I was rude in church. And when I did act up, they weren't bashful to lean over and whisper in my ear that if I didn't behave I was gonna get it! I don't think that many parents realize that the little things, like making the kids behave in church or a restaurant, are what help to shape a child's personality and demeanor. I guess this stuff seems obvious because when I see a parent allowing a kid to act rude, I remember what my parents did and I thank them for raising me right and I am amazed that these other parents don't know what a disservice they're giving to their own kids. What to do about it, though? I don't really know. [This message has been edited by young stranger (edited September 28, 2001).]