Gordon Lightfoot Forums - who doesn't love Gordon Lightfoot

the big Jimmy Buffett Gulf Shores concert:

http://www.lagniappemobile.com/artic...the-flora-bama

Hidden AgendaMunicipalities Visit the Flora-Bama
By Ashley Toland-Trice

June 29, 2010

The cities of Mobile, Biloxi, Orange Beach, Pensacola Beach and Dauphin Island sauntered into the Flora-Bama Lounge and Package Store last weekend for a summit of sorts. After the worst 70 days of their civic lives, the ladies needed a moment to sit down and discuss the last few months and just counsel each other, while sipping on a few of the Bama’s famous Bushwhackers. Gulf Shores was supposed to have joined them, but she was too busy readying for the big Buffett concert, which, of course, made her sister cities all a bit jealous.

Mobile grabbed everyone a round of the delicious frozen rum drinks and had the bartender top off Dauphin Island’s concoction with an extra shot of 151. DI had had a rough Sunday with large amounts of oil washing up on her west end.

“Here you go ladies,” Mobile said as she delivered the drinks and then raised her glass. “Here’s to holding our heads high, protecting our beautiful beaches and cities and to making sure our business owners and citizens are taken care of until things are back to normal. And to kicking Gulf Shores’ ass for getting that concert over us,” Mobile toasted with a smirk.

“I know, right,” Biloxi said. “Jimmy was born in ‘Goula. And recorded his most beautiful song about me.”

“Don’t even talk to me about it, Biloxi, he spent most of his formative years with me. Went to St. Ignatius and McGill. Played the bars downtown. But apparently, he’s mad at me because some local douchebag DJ didn’t play his songs on the radio when he was first starting out,” Mobile said.

“I wonder why they wouldn’t?” Biloxi quizzed.

“Well, apparently he didn’t have a saxophone,” Mobile said shaking her head.

“Well, I for one, am very happy Jimmy is playing in Gulf Shores, I should get plenty of the overflow,” Orange Beach said. “You guys should just be grateful he is playing anywhere on the coast.”

“Oh girl, we are. We’re just kidding around,” Mobile said. “Even if he hates me, I am so happy Jimmy is coming. And Zac Brown. And Kenny Chesney. That is going to be a great night of music. And I hope it’s just the beginning of getting great acts here to help us through this mess.”

“Oh it is,” Pensacola Beach chimed in. “Kenny Loggins is going to play in my neck of the coastline soon.” “Ohhhh, that’s nice, PB” the other cities said in unison.

“Is there a ‘Danger Zone’ joke here anywhere?” teased Mobile.

“Oh, Mobile, don’t’ give me that sh*t. Don’t you have Gordon Lightfoot playing soon?” PB quipped. “Yes, but that’s not oil-related, Miss. And besides who doesn’t like Gordon Lightfoot?”

The cities smiled.

“Who wants another round?” Biloxi said, not waiting for an answer from any of the municipalities. “Just put that on BP’s tab,” Biloxi shouted to the bartender as she walked back to the table.

As B sat back down with their drinks, the mood had changed, as the other cities had been sharing the latest news. Dauphin Island’s west end was being inundated with thousands of tar balls.

This past Sunday was gorgeous, she said, but you could hear a pin drop in the marinas.

Biloxi, whose “coast had been clear” up until now was starting to see oil in her barrier islands, and Tropical Storm Alex was expected to push more of the oil PB’s way.

There was, of course, talk for the need of more skimmers and boom, but there was just this feeling of endless despair.

“I know this sounds strange,” Mobile said. “But I’m just glad we are out of the 60s now. I swear, every morning when I turned on the TV or picked up the paper and saw Day 60-whatever, I don’t know, I felt like the 60s lasted for an eternity.”

“I know, I know,” DI said somberly.

“How’s your bay, Mobile?” PB asked.

“Well, they’ve seen sheen but not the kind of tar balls and mousse you guys are seeing. Not yet anyway. Jesus, balls and mousse. Sounds like the dessert choices at Morrison’s,” Mobile said.

“Really, every time I hear that I think of a 13-year-old boy getting ready to go out on his first ‘date’,” Dauphin Island said.

“Yuck,” said a giggling PB.

“I’m just kidding. Bad joke,” DI apologized.

It was a stupid, sophomoric joke, but the cities laughed anyway. They needed to laugh.

“Guys, I really think we need to get together with our officials and come up with a more consistent marketing message,” Orange Beach said. “I swear I literally saw my governor, in one interview, say it was like Armageddon on the beaches in one breath, and in the next said, ‘Come on down. We’re still open for business.”

“I totally agree,” said Dauphin Island. I realize they are trying to make sure everyone realizes the gravity of the situation while also not destroying what little possible tourism we may have left, but that’s just such a schizo message,” said Dauphin Island. “You can still have a great time down here, but it’s just the perception-versus-reality thing. Hopefully, this concert will help show everyone that.”

“What concert would that be, ladies?” said a man with whitish blond hair from behind his aviator sunglasses.

“Oh my God!! Jimmy! We’re so happy you’re here!!” screamed DI, PB, OB and Biloxi. “We can’t wait for your show,” gushed OB.

“Are you going to play “Biloxi” for me, Jimmy?” asked Biloxi.

“No, no, no, you hash to play ‘Five O’Clock” someswheresh,” DI slurred, making it clear those extra shots of 151 were probably not a good idea.

As the other cities acted like preteen girls, Mobile sat at the table coolly.

Finally Jimmy looked her way. “Hello, Mobile,” Jimmy said in a Newman-to-Jerry manner.

“Hello, Jimmy,” Mobile returned. “Welcome home.”

After a few or 10 more Bushwhackers, Mobile leaned over on to Jimmy and said, “Jim, Jimmy, Jimbelina with cheese, I do loves you very, very much. You know that right? (Burp)I mean you are right up there with Joe Cain and Hammerin’ Hankie Poo Aaron as the greatest Mobilizian of all time, “ Mobile said. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”

“Oh Mobile, I loves you too. I’m over it,” Jimmy said after clearly he gotten wasted away again at the Flora-Bama.

“Oh Jimmy,” Mobile said dreamily.

“Yes, Mobile,” Jimmy answered.

Mobile replied, “Why don’t we get drunk and …”

“Go pick up tar balls,” Jimmy interjected.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking,” Mobile said.

So, Mobile and Jimmy were back together at last.

They held hands and stumbled out on to the beach in front of the Flora-Bama.