The Smiling Post..

[Sydney Steve]

Having just seen the totally irrelevant to the topic, (but quite funny ), insert fom Mr Fowles in the main forum I thought there may be room for a post with quirky ( hopefully somewhat funny) stuff that is mainly aimed at a smile for our special Corfid people. (Not necessarily related to music or the great man.. - but if they were, that would be good..)


I offer a few things as starters....

(This is real) : The other day I got a stern message when ,(as usual), I mucked up when posting. I tried to send a private message in Corfid . The error message said :
" You are attempting to send a private message to yourself. That is not permitted."
( But I'm the only one who understands me !!)

... http://img94.imageshack.us/img94/9839/for0152l8sl.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


A couple of "Net" funny signs now which speak for themselves....


First :


"Aaah .... I think we should take the left turn darling..."


http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/9730/brownmaterial2fr.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

or this one....


"Mum , would it be OK if I missed the last few days school before the holidays ?...".

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/8595/087anal800x6009jy.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[johnfowles]

Now then Master Atkins
or should I say Master plank
as the words "thick as" and "short' spring to my mind
not only did you succeed in starting two identical new topics at
http://www.corfid.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=000672;p=1#0000 00
AND
http://www.corfid.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=000671;p=1#0000 00
and then failed as their originator to delete one to hide your obvious embarrassing incompetence
But yet again you have dismally failed to grasp what I have been trying to tell you recently
about wasting time by resorting to image shack.
If you refer to my original topic at:-
http://www.corfid.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000109#000000
As refered to in another topic at:-
http://www.corfid.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=002423#000000
AND
http://www.corfid.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=000377#000000
You cannot fail to read what I carefully said
"Displaying pictures
This is really not a difficult procedure,
and requires just five steps
1.locate a picture already on a web site somewhere"
You obviously found each of your three pictures "somewhere" then decided to carefully and needlessly save them so that you
could then upload them all to imageshack.
Tut Tut you scion of illegitimate convict stock
the whole idea of using imageshack, imagerrage or an MSN group was for pictures that were not "already on a web site somewhere") to upload to a site "somewhere" if you did not have your own web space to upload to
such as the splendid photo of you and your long-suffering wife
I strongly suspected that all three pix that you have just displayed
were available "already on a web site somewhere"
I tried to find the source of your "split personality" cartoon but failed
(the nearest I could find was:-
http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/jra0221l.jpg
I found the other two quickly using google image search the first one was easy:-
"brownmaterial" is at:-
http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/015_brown_material.jpg

so by merely inserting the required UBB tags {} or by using the image link under the posting box
then your desired picture can be directly displayed from the

http://www.funnysign.com/pics/logo.gif (http://www./funnysign.com)
site:-

http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/015_brown_material.jpg

Similarly "end if school year" was harder to find but by then using impeccable logic to find image 87 on the funnysign site I located it at:-
http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/087_anal.jpg
hence
http://www.funnysign.com/funnysign/087_anal.jpg
OK OK already I realise that you obviously felt it was desirable to enlarge/resize the school sign using
Photo Gadget (http://www.xemico.com/photogadget/)
but not the faecal one
John Fowles
Just trying to be helpful here
We were only playing like two children
who had stayed away from school. Two of us could not be wrong
from:-
http://www.coquet-shack.com/lyrics/Lightfoot/Now_And_Then_0228.php
And
Now take a look at me
Do I look like the kind of guy
The kind of fool who went to school
And had to stand on a stool
Because he couldn't come to terms with a slide rule
from:-
http://www.lightfoot.ca/inmyfash.htm

[ August 03, 2005, 11:47: Message edited by: johnfowles ]

[Sheryl]

Steve, TOO funny!!

[johnfowles]

I guess the comedian from Sydney is sleeping off a hangover judging from the complete absence of any reaction so far!!
JOhn Fowles
He is probably p.....d at me for needling him so much (needling not needing!!)

[Sydney Steve]

I am working on it Master. Do not take silence as no reaction. Having been caught in the giant stuff up of August 3 I'll be back...
I have something nice ,(involving your humble self actually), but need to dress it up for show in this forum...These things take time if you have little idea of what you are doing .
Work beckons now, but be assured this is not the end of it!!!

[Sydney Steve]

Our noble Corfid people are by now well aware of certain undesirable inhabitants of portions of cyberspace.

One particular type causes much aggravation.

Recognition may prove to be the best weapon against this pest....

Beware especially of :

" Pomnerdicus NonBroadbandusComputerata " closely related to and easily mistaken for "Fowlesdrivelus Ofossilus" .
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/9312/john421x4809ss.png (http://imageshack.us)

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/9624/attacktime22ef.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


This beast is commonly found in the company of "Gordloverus Mustbebloodyblindo" ( but science is yet to establish the reason why this attractive and seemingly intelligent being would stay in the company of such an obviously more basic form of life.)
(Apologies to the good Professor previously slandered by incorrect photo)
http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/4056/moresledge2yy.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

A juvenile close relative (photo taken an age ago) ; Scientific name DownhillfastFowlesicus Dorkus

[ August 06, 2005, 10:20: Message edited by: Sydney Steve ]

[Sydney Steve]

This gent was not listening during the informative tutorial also hosted by Mr John Fowles- "Tips for useing an Overhead projector"

http://img28.imageshack.us/img28/5996/15techno2450800x5544tv.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[ August 05, 2005, 14:47: Message edited by: Sydney Steve ]

[Sydney Steve]

PLEASE SIT VERY STILL.

NOBODY , BUT NOBODY CAPTURES THE ESSENCE OF AN IDIOT ON CANVAS LIKE HIM........
http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/7669/att085e3ca180dcfb640804c6db4ec.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[ August 12, 2005, 06:32: Message edited by: Sydney Steve ]

[Sydney Steve]

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/4775/doctoredcartoon0sd.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Sheryl]

LMAO!!

[<Friendship>]

You two must really have it in for each other. Your pictures are okay for the Small Talk section of Corfid, but leave them off the General Discussion section. This is suppose to be about Gord! They are very inappropriate!!!
They tell a lot about you two (not very nice) and unfortunately Gord gets pulled in their too!

[<Friendship>]

Great picture, NOT, the crap!!!

[Sydney Steve]

&lt;friendship&gt;, your choice of moniker -that's name ,(to save you rushing to the dictionary), is touching if entirely innapropriate given the nature of your posts. If thats &lt;friendship&gt; I think I would prefer the posts from &lt;hatred&gt; at least I would know what to expect !......

Now something lighter....


http://img356.imageshack.us/img356/8428/image0102un.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[ August 17, 2005, 03:16: Message edited by: Sydney Steve ]

[Sydney Steve]

A topical one for some of us...

http://img371.imageshack.us/img371/113/nosex473x4803wp.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Sheryl]

ROFLMAO!!

[The Rez]

!!OAMLFOR

[Sydney Steve]

A DUCK JOKE

Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it went up considerably!

[johnfowles]

Originally posted by Sydney Steve:
A DUCK JOKE
Dead Duck
Nice one Stevo way above your usual (gutter) humo(u)r
good enough in fact to save for inclusion in a "funthings" section I am working on for my web site (together with numereous offerings from the rez I might add and will add)
John Fowles
1.We made love; we had such fun
2.She could be meek and mild or full of fun
3.Movin' to the upside, tell me when does the fun begin

4.The mermaids have all gone to davy jones’ ball
And it seems their first trip was their last
They had so much fun
They don’t wish to return

5.If they seem a bit untidy
Well unraveling them is fun
I will not stand corrected
I have not harmed anyone

6.Sometimes I don't mind thefun times
Sometimes they're all the same

A particularly rich haul of six Gord songs containing my chosen word try to say which songs the qouoted bits are from!!

[Sydney Steve]

&gt;A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients that
were made while he was performing colonoscopies:
&gt;
&gt;1. "Take it easy, Doc! You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
&gt;
&gt;2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
&gt;
&gt;3. "Can you hear me NOW?!!"
&gt;
&gt;4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
&gt;
&gt;5. "You know, in Arkansas....we're now legally married."
&gt;
&gt;6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
&gt;
&gt;7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out....you do
the
&gt;Hokey Pokey....and yeeow!"
&gt;
&gt;8. "Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
&gt;
&gt;9. "Remember, if your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
&gt;
&gt;10. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
&gt;
&gt;And THE best one:
&gt;
&gt;11. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"